I’m changing the format of my blog posts to read, watch, and stop. I’ll share what I’m currently reading, watching, and, to help declutter life, something I’m stopping.
Watch: Genius by Stephen Hawking has everyday people perform experiments and solve problems to understand scientific concepts from evolution to time travel. I’ve enjoyed watching and discussing episodes with my kids.
Stop: Stop unwanted calls. I use an iPhone app called RoboKiller. RoboKiller stops known spammers and makes it easy to block callers.
Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers shares multiple factors behind success, and that success isn’t just a combination of talent and hard work. Here are the key takeaways:
The self-made man is a myth. We have a bias to attribute success to ability and hard work. Yet, other factors are at play. Read on!
For most professions, there’s a base threshold for success. Once you move beyond that threshold, having a better ability doesn’t increase success. For example, if you’re a Mike Tyson, you reached 71 inches. The average boxer has a reach of 76.” It’s related skills and abilities that matter. For an attorney, those additional items could be the ability to connect with others.
While this point is debated, to be world-class in anything, you must spend about 10K hours developing your craft.
On this one, you don’t have much control. The month you’re born impacts what you can achieve. For example, my kiddos play hockey. Teams are based on birth year. So, someone born in January of a year could compete with someone of December of the same year… a year difference. Please do it for those of you considering holding your kid back from school. Research shows it gives them a head start in life. Holding back would not be valid if all families practiced this approach.
Use practical intelligence. Know who, when, and how to connect with people up and down the food chain. The reality is kids of more affluent parents have entitlement, making them practice practical intelligence. On the flip side, sadly, poorer parents are less likely to teach valuable intelligence.
Like the month you were born, when you are born matters. Consider Bill Gates; he was born to be a young adult when the PC was almost of age and had enough technology to make it a reality. For tech, it was best to be born around 1955.
Being born in different parts of the world matters.
Where you rank shouldn’t matter regarding important decisions or stating your objections. Yet, this isn’t always so. The book cites Korean Air, which had a crash rate 17X higher than the industry average. Why? Younger pilots did not express their concerns difference from older pilots. Korean Air hired a firm to help correct this behavior.
As leaders or influencers, we should look for ways to level the playing field for all.
In Peak Mind by Amishi Jha, Dr. Jha shares three systems of attention for our brains:
Flashlight: With the flashlight, we focus on the now. If we are too focused, we can miss the bigger picture.
Floodlight: With floodlight, our attention is on high alert. What could be happening at the moment that may propose risk or, in some cases, opportunity?
Juggler: The juggler is the CEO of the mind. Whatever the challenge, the juggler is on top of tackling everything.
Three things zap the ability to pay attention. They are stress, threats, and mood. When stressed, whether in business or home, it blocks our ability to focus. When there are threats, we focus on personal safety instead of thoughts. The final item that eliminates our ability to pay attention is mood. From depression to the blues, it dramatically reduces our ability to focus.
When it comes to making memories, there are three steps:
1. Rehearsal: Rehearsal is repeating something over in mind. It could be a PIN or a person’s name. 2. Elaboration: Elaboration is tying something new to an existing memory. 3. Consolidation: Consolidation creates new neural connections.
The author shares that meditation helps with all three brain systems and creates memories. She recommends 12 minutes a day for five days a week, and a technique is known as breath awareness. In breath awareness, start with a quiet place. Sit, close your eyes, and breathe. Follow your breath and nothing else. If your mind wanders, bring it back to your breath. If you’re new to mediation and want guidance, try an app like Headspace.
In The Art of Stopping Time, Pedram Shojai, the author, shares something we all know; our most treasured resource is time. So how do we leverage it? Stop it!
What we get out of time depends on mindfulness, energy, and how we focus and spend our time. For all of us, time is the great equalizer—we all have the same amount of hours in a day.
The first step is to determine how we are spending our time to begin an assessment to maximize time. Is time spent on something meaningful or pleasurable? Next, consider energy to invest in worthwhile endeavors versus low-energy tasks like doom scrolling social media. Last, Are we mindful? Are we living in the moment?
The author reminds us to cut bait on goals or activities that are no longer relevant and deserve our time. Then, use this newfound time in rewarding areas and produce results.
What’s your ROI on time? In investing, there’s a return strategy. What’s your time investment strategy? When time pops up, say an appointment cancels, or a commute is faster than planned, there’s a decision on how to use this extra time. Like investing, knowing how to “invest” this spare time is essential.
We have more power over our time than we may initially think. While some obligations are required—say, paying taxes or feeding our pets—others are at our discretion. These discretionary activities could include letting go of relationships or no longer relevant or essential activities.
For time, the “how” is as important as the “what.” Are there ways to get two things done at once? Say you want to exercise and spend time with your kid. Could you have your kiddo join you for your run or bike ride? Or, if you have a conference call and need to drop off your child for a playdate, could you drop your kid off while having your conference call? Small decisions compounded make for big-time impacts.
Our mobile phones are a double-edged sword. While they can be productive, it’s a quick way to be distracted or entertained. The next time there’s a fleeting moment, resist the temptation to grab the phone and use it to think through a current problem or reconnect with a past friend.
Be mindful. Be present. Be thankful. On vacation or at work, wherever you are, think “this is the last time I’m ever here.” If this was the case, how would you be present? Being mindful lets us live in the moment and stop time.
While no one can stop time, we can prioritize, organize and be mindful.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Instead, be thankful and remember it’s impossible to feel scared and grateful at the same time
Keep your power. Here are signs of losing power—others make you angry, guilty, or judged. Control your emotions and set boundaries if there are people in your life—say a boss or in-law—who makes you feel your power is fleeting
Lean into change. When change is needed, make a plan and have small attainable goals. As the saying goes, “by the yard, it’s hard. By the inch, it’s a cinch.”
Let go of things outside of your control. If within your control, focus your sphere of influence
Realize you can’t please everyone. In Adam Grant’s book, he outlines helping others, and there are Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Avoid Takers and meet Matchers in the middle
Be an intelligent risk-taker. Know the pros and cons, mitigate risks, and know when to walk away. In looking at solutions, look for “and” answers instead of either-or solutions
Let go of the past. Forgive yourself, focus on the future, and remember, “you never can ‘should have’; otherwise, you’ll ‘should’ all over yourself.
Learn from mistakes. What were the failure points when planning a goal or project that didn’t work in the past? How to mitigate the losses? To achieve the goal, ask, “In what ways can I [fill in the blank]?”
Support others’ success. Envy is never good. Life is not a zero-sum game. Look for opportunities to collaborate instead of competing
Know there will be setbacks and don’t give up. Be kind to yourself. Get knocked down? Get back up
Be O.K. being alone with your thoughts—journal, meditate, exercise
Remember entitlement replaces the expectation of success with the actual work to achieve success
Persevere with patience. Read any book about success and know from the lightbulb’s invention to organizations that dominate the world today, know time is on your side and persistence beats resistance
