What I’ve Learned About Trust from 30 Years of Consulting

In consulting, trust isn’t a buzzword—it’s the whole game.
You can have the best tech stack, the sharpest team, and the flashiest slide deck in the room… but if the client doesn’t trust you, none of it matters.
After over 30 years in the business, here’s what I’ve learned about how trust is built (and lost).
1. Trust is consistency over time
It’s not about one impressive meeting or a great kickoff call. It’s about showing up, following through, and doing what you said you’d do—over and over again.
Trust builds slowly and silently. Then, one broken promise can blow it up.
2. You earn it faster by telling the truth sooner
Bad news doesn’t get better with time. When something goes sideways—and it will—clients want honesty, not spin.
I’ve found that the faster we admit a misstep and share how we’re fixing it, the more credibility we build. It’s counterintuitive but true.
3. Being technically right isn’t always enough
You can win the argument and still lose the room.
Trust isn’t just intellectual—it’s emotional. Clients trust people who listen, who meet them where they are, and who understand their pressure (not just their project scope).
4. Trust is built between meetings, not just in them
It’s the quick update when nothing’s changed. The extra question that shows you’re thinking ahead. The quiet follow-up that signals, “We’ve got you.”
These moments don’t get logged in JIRA or tracked in a spreadsheet—but they’re noticed.
5. Trust is fragile—and portable
People remember how you made them feel. If you’ve built trust with a client, they’ll take you with them when they move companies. If you’ve burned it, same deal.
In this business, your reputation travels faster than you do.
The longer I’ve led teams and worked with clients, the more I’ve realized: we’re not just in the software business. We’re in the trust business.
And like anything worth building, it takes time, intention, and care.