#1: Empathy

Earlier I wrote about the emerging field of social neuroscience and new studies showing that leaders can improve group performance by improving their own social intelligence. Researchers Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis created the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory to help business people who want to improve their social intelligence. As described in the spring edition of Harvard Business Review OnPoint, seven key social intelligence qualities are most important: empathy, attunement, organizational awareness, influence, developing others, inspiration and team work. I’m going to look at each of these qualities, one-by-one, in my upcoming posts and share how we make them each come alive at Intertech.

Empathy sometimes gets confused with being overly emotional. That’s a simplistic view and it simply is not true. Understanding what motivates others is crucial to being able to work together effectively. One way we’ve found to emphasize with our team members who may be feeling overwhelmed when they have to work on a tedious project is to (a) give them a definite deadline for the project’s completion and (b) offer them the opportunity to work on a “fun” project at the same time.  We have found that showing empathy to employees in these situations by using these strategies can make all the difference. They know that: we understand they’re slogging through a tough assignment, that we appreciate their commitment and that we want to make it better. The assignment still might be a challenge but it doesn’t seem quite as bad when they know we empathsize!

Next post: Attunement!

Lessons from My Father

For many, Father’s Day is a holiday of the worst possible definition: a phony event designed to sell cards and ties. For me, though, this Father’s Day has special poignancy: It’s the first time I’ll be celebrating as a dad myself, and the first time that I won’t be able to tell my own dad how much he means to me.

My father, Theodore, accidently died last year in a farming accident. It was a terrible shock, to say the least, and it put my life in perspective. In the months since, I find myself remembering all the things he taught me; lessons that I want to teach Theodore, my young son.

In 2001, a local newspaper published an article about how my company, Intertech, was named one of the 500 fastest-growing firms in the nation. In the article, I credited some of my success to simple lessons that my dad taught me. Now I realize that my dad taught me so much more, and those lessons have been critical to my company’s ongoing success.

“Tell the truth and you’ll only have one story to remember” was one of his favorite sayings. After being in business for 20 years, I have repeatedly experienced the merit of dad’s wisdom. Case in point: Recently, an important client of ours hired a CIO who turned out to be a dishonest bully. He hoped posturing, changing his story, and saying whatever would resonate with me would make me complicit with his deceit. It didn’t. The company fired him, but Intertech is still engaged.

This particular experience taught me that while it’s easy to encourage others to tell the truth, it’s harder to create an environment where truth telling feels safe. To create an atmosphere of honesty, I’ve learned to support people when they fail. I also encourage my managers to tell those people who make mistakes that they’re OK. I’ll never forget how grateful I was when my dad did that for me.

“If you do nothing, you won’t make any mistakes” were his first words to my teenage self after I accidently sheared the axel on his truck. After reminding me that only those who do nothing are perfect, he said, “Now let’s go take a look at the truck.” No shaming reprimand; just a straightforward focus on solutions. When mistakes happen in my business, I acknowledge it, learn from it and move on to the next step. At the end of the day, it’s the mistakes that make us great.

“If someone does something you don’t agree with, tell him directly” was another belief my dad modeled.  He wasn’t confrontational, but he did speak his mind if he disagreed or had something corrective to say. When I asked him if this was hard to do, he would just shrug his shoulders and say, “I’m not trying to win a popularity contest.” I was able to apply this lesson when a valued business partner of mine messed up. We talked through the issue and he realized that, while I recognized his mistake, I was more concerned about the future of our company and his role in helping us move forward. I’m happy to say that he’s still with us today. 

While popularity wasn’t his goal, my dad was beloved by many. At his funeral, many people recalled dad telling them he was proud they turned their life around or did good work. It made me realize that sharing sincere praise is precious. This is something I have institutionalized within my company with a program that encourages employees to nominate each other for demonstrating our company values. Sometimes as leaders we get so busy that we don’t give people the acknowledgement they need to excel. At the end of the day, awareness begets success.

My dad was a modest farmer, but he left a rich legacy of integrity, authenticity and kindness. His wisdom has helped me grow as a business owner and father. I only hope I can be at least half as effective in passing that legacy on to his namesake.

Tom Talks about the Biology of Leadership—part 3

New research finds that being in a good mood helps people to absorb information effectively and to respond in creative and flexible ways. In other words, G/B (see June post #1 for full citation) write, “Laughter is serious business.”

How do business leaders keep it light while still communicating the need for strong performance and positive outcomes? G/B came up with a behavioral assessment tool: the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory, which is a 360-degree evaluation by which bosses, peers, direct reports, clients and even family members assess a leader according to seven social intelligence qualities. Their tool might be helpful as you think about this challenge. Here are some of the qualities they measure, along with questions used to assess them.:

Empathy: do you understand what motivates other people, even those with different background?

Attunement: do you listen attentively and think about how others feel? Are you attuned to others’ moods?

Organizational Awareness: Do you appreciate the culture and values of the group or organization? Do you understand social networks and know their unspoken norms?

Influence: Do you persuade others by engaging them in discussion and appealing to their self-interests? Do you get support from key people?

Developing Others: do you coach and mentor others with compassion and personally invest time and energy in mentoring? Do you provide feedback that people find helpful for their professional development?

Inspiration: Do you articulate a compelling vision, build group pride and foster a positive emotional tone? Do you lead by bringing out the best in people?

Teamwork: Do you solicit input from everyone on your team? Do you support all team members and encourage cooperation?

Take some time to determine how you or your leadership team measures up. In the blog posts that follow this one I will delve into how Intertech measures up on these counts and, I hope, share some ideas that might be useful in your organization.

Tom Talks about the Biology of Leadership–part 2

In Building a Winning Business, I spend considerable time focusing on important leadership skills, such as listening to others, fostering open communication, staying positive and taking the opinions of others into account. In other words, leaders must be able to relate to and communicate effectively with others.

G/B (see previous post for full citation) cite a study that found in an analysis of new C-level executives only those who could get along with others succeeded—even though all the executives were deemed to be equally smart, ambitious, and self disciplined.  Research also is bearing out the notion that non-verbal communication is more important that what people actually say or hear.

A recent study by Rutgers University professor Marie Dasborough found that employees who received positive information that was delivered critically (frowning and narrowed eyes) reported feeling worse about their performance than did employees who were given negative job performance information in a positive manner.

It’s not what we say so much, but how we say it that truly matters!

Of course, it’s not exactly a news flash to say that leaders must be able to connect with people to be effective. What is really interesting, though, is a recent neuroscience finding: the presence of mirror neutrons in the brain that causes people to reproduce the emotions of others within themselves. Collectively, G/B write, “these neurons create an instant sense of shared experience.”

Ever heard the old phrase, “anger spreads like the flu?” It’s the ancient wisdom of our forbearers but science is now proving its biological genesis. Or, as G/B opine, “Mirror neurons have particular importance in organizations, because leaders’ emotions and action prompt followers to mirror those feelings and deeds. The effects of activity neural circuitry in followers’ brains can be very powerful.”

That’s why I have long believed that leaders must set a positive example, always tell the truth, own their own mistakes and stay calm in the heat of crisis. A leaders’ behavior (or even the behavior of an employee that others respect) can build up or destroy an entire organization through mood contagion. Don’t believe me? Watch what happens when someone starts bad-mouthing your organization or clients. Within a very short time, many other employees will start to share those negative impressions, even if their own experience does not support them. If this goes on long enough, your entire business can begin to fall apart.

Luckily, mood contagion also can be positive. So even if we’re juggling a lot, worried about personal issue or just feeling crabby, effective leaders learn how to put aside their negative emotions and focus on the positive. The health of our organizations depends upon it!