Live your values and others may follow

If you pay attention to the political news, it’s easy to believe that disrespectful dialog has replaced baseball as the national pastime. While I’m a firm believer in the power of debate and discussion to generate better decisions, I do not believe what’s happening in D.C. is productive.

All people, and business leaders, must stand up for what’s right. Problem is, many business people – me included – do not like to take stands because we do not wish to risk offending others (including customers, potential customers and even employees).

But standing up for what’s right without being offensive is possible: we’ve seen it done countless times on television by the imitable Fred Rogers. We all remember Mister Rogers as the gentle, affable man who created “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” on PBS.

Fred Rogers was as warm as his famous cardigan sweaters, but he didn’t shy away from controversy. He tackled complex social issues and was a strong advocate for anti-discrimination and equal rights. This was highlighted in the recent documentary “Won’t You Be My Neighbor,” which recounts the episode when he soaked his feet alongside an African-American police officer in a kiddie pool. This was controversial because segregation was still widespread in America at the time.

Fred Rogers did not give fiery speeches (but he did testify before Congress on behalf of funding public television for children), he just did the right thing and led by example. So, I have a modest proposal for my fellow citizens and business leaders: let your actions speak for you.

My company uses technology to help clients achieve important business objectives. But we also dedicate resources (time and dollars) supporting non-profit organizations focused on the common good. From volunteerism, employee matching gifts and student scholarships, to starting the Intertech Foundation, our philanthropic efforts allow us to speak up through action for positive community values: compassion, opportunity and education.

Most recently the Intertech Foundation became a philanthropic supporter of a local children’s hospice named Crescent Cove. I liked Crescent Cove because we’d be making an impact in the community where we lived and they’re the first nonprofit in the Twin Cities to offer hospice services for kids. In the past, we’ve also supported the local Ronald McDonald House.

So, let’s be kind and inclusive. Better yet, let’s use our personal and professional actions to create the world we want to see for future generations – one that provides a place for everyone to belong and contribute. Who knows, it might even be good for business!

Father’s Day

There’s been a lot of talk in Minnesota and the country about “inappropriate behavior” by high-profile men that many of us previously admired for their leadership, creativity and contributions to our culture or government. But when the “icky” news began to break, we suddenly thought about those men differently. Their legacies will not make their children proud.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad recently. Maybe it’s because of the recent Father’s Day or the fact that dad’s been gone for seven years. He never met my children, the eldest of whom is named for him. Sometimes it’s frustrating because I can’t ask dad for advice or share my proud papa stories with him. Although my mom is always there — and I appreciate that immensely – there’s just something about the father/son relationship that mothers and sons cannot replicate.

My dad, Theodore Salonek, was not a high-profile guy. And he certainly was not the sort of man who ever would have made headlines for inappropriate behavior. But the older I get, the more I realize how much I learned from watching him – and what a first class man he was.

Theodore was a hardworking farmer with five kids. Like many small family farmers, we had some tough times during the ‘80s. That didn’t stop dad from helping others in small and big ways. For example, I remember him “rounding up” when paying hired hands that he knew were down on their luck, giving food to people in need (including a divorced man, which was considered shocking at the time) and continually taking the time to visit an alcoholic who was struggling in rehab. Even when this man let dad down, dad continued to help him and give him opportunities to make good.

I learned a lot about being a person and a father from observing how dad treated others. On holidays, our home was always a place for “stragglers” who lacked a place to go. He and mom would set extra plates on the table at Christmas and Easter for people without family.  As a kid, I didn’t really appreciate these people being with us on holidays. But now, looking back, I can see what a powerful lesson we received about kindness and generosity.

My dad didn’t believe in making a fuss about his acts of kindness. He just did things because he felt they were the right things to do. While the “Bachelor Farmer” is the name of a restaurant today, dad regularly drove two local bachelor farmers who were older and couldn’t drive to countless doctor appointments. And when my grandpa (dad’s father-in-law) had colon cancer and was bed ridden, dad somehow found the money to purchase a washer and dryer so grandma could wash grandpa’s garments. Little things I suppose by today’s standards, but their impact was substantial for the people who benefitted from his generosity. They made a huge impact on me.

One of the best things I ever did was invite my dad to join me for annual weeklong fishing trips before he died in a farming accident in late 2010. I learned more about him on those trips than I did in 18 years of growing up on the farm. His unfailing ability to see the best in others and in difficult situations was remarkable. He looked for the positives in life and he loved people. When we would travel, dad liked to chat it up with people we’d meet along the way. It was rare to see him talk to someone for any period of time and not see them smiling or laughing and patting him on the back.

Now we live in a time when so many men, in public life anyway, seem to be the polar opposite of men like my dad. Humility is out and grandiosity is in. Kindness is naive and personal greed is king. Caring for family, neighbors and friends is a quaint relic of previous generations. Men who are known for their callous treatment of women and disregard for business associates and constituents have been elevated to the highest levels of society.

I hope my son and daughter are too young to notice these men. I hope my efforts to follow my dad’s example (and the parenting by their wonderful mother!) will be enough to offset the corrosive effect of growing up in a world so different from the one my parents created for me.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.  You may be gone, but your proud legacy never will be forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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